Phases of a Betrayed Partner’s Recovery: Phase 2

Phase 2: Remembering, Mourning & Anger

Healing happens in phases: (Adapted from Steffens, 2013; APSATS Model)

Phase 1: Safety & Stabilization

Phase 2: Grief & Meaning-Making

Phase 3: Reconnection & Growth

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Phase 2: Remembering, Mourning & Anger

• Grief Work

• Relational Trauma Repair

“Grief is a luxury of a safe heart.” — Terri Guillemets

You need safety and stability to allow yourself to grieve.

Betrayal introduces deep, layered waves of loss:

• Loss of trust in your partner

• Loss of trust in yourself (How did I not know?)

• Loss of what you believed your relationship was

• Loss of dreams you had for your future

In this phase, the intensity of emotional triggers may begin to decrease—especially if your partner is committed to their own recovery. The focus starts to shift from simply surviving to actually processing your pain.

Let yourself feel.
Cry. Mourn. Rage.
Let your body and heart speak.

Grief is exhausting. You may feel physically and emotionally drained. This is normal.

In Phase 1, there’s a lot to do.
In Phase 2, there’s a lot to feel and process.

This Phase Is About Meaning-Making

• What does this mean about me?

• Who am I now?

• Who are you now?

• What is the reality of our relationship?

These are deep, existential questions—and they take time.
Give yourself permission to explore without rushing.

Even if it feels endless, this phase will pass.
You will feel joy again.

But for now, let yourself feel all of it.